Best way to wake up

Today, I woke up sleeping next to a gorgeous woman.  Luckily, it was my wife.  ;)

Then I looked outside and my heart stopped for a second.  Every tree, rock, and knoll was covered in an inch of fresh fallen snow!  It was like God blessed the world with a light dusting of his grandeur.  So lovely!  I walked downstairs and there was a hot fire roaring in the fireplace.  My Father greeted me with a smile.  Soon the smell of fresh coffee and homemade blueberry muffins filled the air.  The sun slowly peeked its way up over the trees.  One by one, little birds began to shake off the snow from their protective feathers and search for breakfast. 

Lately, it's been hard to find peace in my life.  The best I usually get is on one of my lunch breaks at work.  I can put on my headphones, sip a cappuccino and free write or read.  Breathing in the Holy Spirit, I exhale frustrations, emotional pain, and stress.  But those "peace breaks" are only small snippets of cleansing and renewal.  Here, in Maple Valley, I have discovered that while in Sacramento I have been "holding my breath," so-to-speak, for the last 3 months.  Due to a stressful time at work, tough situations with my family, and all the difficulties that go into helping Julie prepare to go back to school, I haven't really relaxed in awhile. 

Here, on the other hand, I can really exhale.  Here, I can take a DEEP breath, and feel myself being refreshed by Washington's clean air, beautiful countryside, and compassionate people.  Having a whole week to recoup is probably a big part of it.  Here, one of the biggest problems is evil magicians (actual quote from Julie this morning, "I always attack the magician first.").  Did I mention that I've been playing a lot of video games?

So thank you, friends and family (Becca, Lilli, Mom, Dad, Joel, Candace, Abby- and soon Jenn, Brian, and Olive), for helping to heal up poor Timorus' heart, and thank you, Washington, for doing what you always do.  (I would say thank you to God, but it feels too trite to do it here, and plus it's way too personal to share with the world wide web.)

Tim

P.S.  Didn't mean to rub it in with my title, Jeff.  I just thought it was funny.  :)

The Church: Transforming the world into... ??

Funny how time changes things.  Funny how people's actions based out of fear and insecurity can alter your perspective on much of what they spent their lives telling you.

One man told me that the Church is God's way of transforming the world-- and in fact, it is the single most effective way to glorify God.  Then he kicked me out of his church cuz I didn't fit in.

Logically, one could deduce from the combination of his philosophy and his actions that God wants to transform the world using The Church, and The Church is only for those who fit in.  The Church is an exclusive country club, essentially.

I call "BS."  Up until now, I've gone along with those pastors and theologians that convinced a smattering of their own followers that The Church is the method for God's hand (and any number of horrible analogies). I have come to realize (and I'm sorry if this offends you) that what they really mean when they say that is: come to MY church and put your money in my offering plates.  They don't want to hear any other interpretation of Jesus' sending out the 12.  They want to learn more techniques and gimmicks to get more people to trust them and volunteer and put more money in the plates.

You see, after the Resurrection, Jesus sends out the 12 to "go forth and make disciples," but I don't think there was an asterisk on the end of that statement that says, "*because this is the single most effective way to glorify God and transform the world-- oh, AND making disciples means excluding those who don't fit in to your Sunday services."

Stop me if this is going too far, but --from where I'm sitting-- to reinterpret (and thus, MISinterpret) Jesus' words to serve our OWN purposes and agendas (and paycheck), seems a little... blasphemous?  Some might call that person a False Prophet.  I think Jesus called this type a "Brood of Vipers."

Think, oh you who profess to be followers of God.  THINK.

Church can just "go on as usual" because, "hey, nothing's perfect" and "besides, there are lots of good things that come from it... like... potlucks"?  Or you can call BS.

Some call the American consumeristic church as today's Anti-Christ.  A force so alluring and powerful that it can not be ironed out, only left to rot and decay or be destroyed by the Second Coming.  I say, a new path must be forged.  The funny thing is that it is NOT a new path, but the original path that Christ asked us to take in the first place.

Think about Christ's words!  How much does one need to tithe in order to "take up one's cross"?  How many weeks do you need to volunteer to babysit in the nursery in order to "stay on the narrow path"?  What clothes should I wear and what things should I say so that I "fit in" to the "feast of God that ALL are welcomed to"?

I have been afraid to say these things that are on my heart because I don't want to hurt more people, but the fact is, PEOPLE ARE GETTING HURT by the Church's blasphemies.  Some may never see God because of the Church's evil practices and politics.  I will stick up for those who have been burned and beaten by the insecure liars and demons in "their Sunday best."  I will not stand by and watch a "holy life-boat" run over another follower of God in their quest to convert more people to join their exclusive club.  It's f**ked up.  I think Jesus would say so.

Little Sis

You graduate today
You big girl, you
Five years in college with a double major didn't seem so hard now did it?
Not with what you went through

And are still going through

Wish I could give you something you could really use today
Not a few bucks to spend on groceries
Not a gift card that will just get lost
But a gift of worth.

Today, you rise in victory
It might not feel like a glorious victory
It might feel like you just limped across the finish line
But it's A victory
And it's been awhile since we've had that.

Thanks, Missy, on behalf of all of us
You carried on.
You pushed yourself to the very limit.
You did it.

I am so proud of you.

I can't wait to see how you change the world.

Here I sit

I'm sitting on the patio at work as the cool morning breeze and mist ruffles my late-morning-bed-head hair. 

I'm watching the yellow autumn leaves flutter to the ground. 

I'm sipping a clandestined cappuccino- warmth fills my stomach and soul. 

The marbled gray sky sends kisses to the earth, and the trees bow in respect. 

My face tingles with the touch of Autumn's delight.

So, who am I?

This child of the Fall

Ashamed of imperfections I possess and pursue

Enjoying such pleasures as passions will endure

Occasionally, I, on my luckiest days

Will become more than mortal

And I will see the beauty that I have missed

As the willow trees hide their sorrows in a kiss

For the earth

I cry for a second chance to take not from the Tree

But to receive such mercies as Fall from Thee

Too short for deep thoughts

This morning as I was getting ready for work at 4:15 AM... (*yes, you can groan with sympathy for me*) ...I looked down at my beautiful sleeping wife and thought: I just might be the luckiest man in the world.  And then I thought- no, there MUST be someone more luckier than me. 

Then I thought some more.

And I decided that yet, indeed, I MUST be the luckiest man in the world. 

I love you Joules.
Tim

"Your loveliness none can see with the fullness that it deserves."

Boringest post ever. Sorry.

I'm wearing a new sweater that Julie picked out for me.  It's gray and warm and so S.O.F.T.

Work has been tough.  I feel stretched thinner than I've felt in a long time.  Lots of hard work with little recognition (and mostly complaints) is difficult for anyone.  My boss was made "Manager of the Quarter" for our district.  I know he doesn't really get a whole lot of recognition- he tends to focus more on the out of sight things that help a store succeed financially, and he's not the best at encouraging the team.  But he's one of the better managers I have had in my life, and I am grateful to be working with him.  And our store has made our budget for the last 11 months (which is pretty impressive for a post-recession).

I'm starting to wonder if I will get promoted or not to Assistant Manager after the holidays like they said- AND if I will enjoy it if I do get promoted.  I feel like, essentially, I'm doing all the things that an ASM does right now: ordering supplies, doing all the promotional work, keeping track of our sales targets and goals, inventory, etc.   So, I guess it's just the raise and the recognition that I'm after...

I would like to go to Maple Valley for Christmas.  I really would.  But sadly, I think I'm going to have to work (especially since two of our shift leads just quit).  :(

Julie and I are just going to have to try to make something special out of what we got.  We're going to the snow on Sunday, at least!!  (note to self: check to make sure we have chains...)  We may even get a Christmas tree!

Thanks for reading my nonsense.

Thanksgiving Vacation... almost

So, this weekend Julie and I drove down to SLO to visit the fam.  Turns out my brother and sister in law, sister, and 5 dogs were already at the house.  It was a bit... full.  Which is fun!  But I definitely saw a little bit of ...overwhelmingment... in my parent's faces.  Yeah, I just made that word up.

Overall, it was a good trip!  I got to have a bunch of small chats with everyone, catch up on stuff, find out that my parents were flying to Israel that same weekend...


Wait, what??  Yeah.  They had scheduled a trip with a team of people to go to Israel and we had NO IDEA.  Um, thanks for the heads up??  They could have told us at any point when we were planning to come see them...  but, I guess it just didn't make it into the "important to tell Tim" category.

So, I'm a bit jealous.  I've always wanted to visit the Holy Land.  Sucks that I wasn't really considered.

But I got over it.  I was more interested in just spending time with family.  My brother had to work all day Saturday shooting a wedding, so I didn't really get to see him at all.  But I had a good talk with my dad.  He asked me if I was "content."  I (mentally) rolled my eyes and thought, "Oh, great.  Here we go.  Time for the all-too-recurrent 'what are you doing with your life' talk and, 'Here's what I think you SHOULD be doing with your life' follow up."  I love my parents desperately, but I don't think I have ever asked for their opinion as to what I should do with my life, but they have always given it freely.

I should just look at it this way: Mom and Dad love me, and they just think they are helping me reach my full potential.

But it often looks THIS way: Mom and Dad think that I am a failure with my life, and if I would just do this random thing that has popped into their head then I could actually make something of myself.

They really liked it when they could tell people that I was helping to "plant a church"-- they could brag about my natural talents and how the church is different and new and exciting.  When I got canned from that they felt bad.  It's just awkward telling people when they ask, "So, how's that boy of yours?  Still growing that church in Folsom?" that "No, he got fired, and now he's just working at a coffee shop."  FAILURE.  He's kind of a FAILURE.  NOTHING GOING ON IN HIS LIFE.

Funny that I'm content.  I think the little part in my DNA that longs to please my parents is ridiculously small.  Any time my dad has taken me aside and said, "I'm proud of you, son" for whatever the hell it was that I did, I just kinda nodded and thought to myself, "okay, cool."  No real fulfillment there.  I think i've actually always resented the way they have tried to steer me down one path and then another.  My mom, God bless her, is often saying, "You know what you should do, Tim?..."

Julie says it's because they see "Potential" in me.  I think I've come to think of "potential" as a dirty word.  An excuse to pass judgment on people.  An excuse to see people not as they currently are, but how you wish they were.  Will you love me and take pride in me not because I followed the dream path that you laid out for me, but because I am your son and I am living my life in an honorable way?

It's kinda like my parent's backyard.  It's a disaster, you see.  My bro and dad ripped out the nice deck that was back there and now it's just sticks and dirt and dog shit everywhere.  He's been planning to do something with it, but hasn't done a single thing.  So, everytime anyone comes over and sees the beautiful house and the nasty backyard, they have a suggestion for my dad.  "You know what you should do?  You should turn it into a bird sanctuary."  "You know what you should do?  You should..." etc, etc. 

See what I'm getting at?  People give him suggestions because they see how horrible it looks.  That's why I resent it when Mom and Dad give me suggestions for what to do with my life, because they look at me, and see a problem that needs fixing.

Do I have a perfectly fulfilling life full of dandelions and prancing ponies?  No.  Am I content with who I am and what I have?  Yes.  Oh, God, yes.  I'm a lucky effing bastard.  :)

Someday that might be enough for my parents.  For now, I'll just let it be.

Working out is definitely not working...

If you read my last post, you were encouraged by my passion and excitement for gym-going-Tim.  Yeah, it didn't last long.  It's been at LEAST 2 weeks since I've been to the gym, and today when I jogged with the dogs, I had to stop after 5 min cuz my legs started cramping up.  Sad.  Just plain sad.

On to a more fun subject.

I'm flying to Seattle!!  Julie, Andrew and I are taking a very short trip up to Washington to see the family, take in Seattle beauty, and bring home a brand new car!  By new, I mean an '88 Honda Accord that has seen better days, but is still faithful!  Thanks a BILLION, Dad!  You are a lifesaver!  (Who gives away cars these days?  My father, that's who.)

Work is exciting because we're getting closer and closer to Christmas and it's our busiest time of year and everyone's a little stressed out, but still cheerful, and there's always SO MUCH TO DO!  I have to keep telling myself that at the simplest level, I just make coffee.  That's all.  There's no need to go crazy and spray whip cream everywhere in a fit of neurotic spasms.

Also, I'm going to ATTEMPT to throw a Christmas concert at my store.  Will keep you updated.

Most affectionately,
Tim

Working out might be working...

So I got a gym membership finally and I've been mostly faithfully working out 3 times a week.  I was a little skeptical at first if (1), I'd actually stay consistent with it, and (2), if it would even be worth all the effort.  I mean, not to sound full of myself, but due to my high metabolism, I kinda don't need to work out to "look in shape."  But I know that I'm not in shape.  I start huffing and puffing when I walk up a flight of stairs!  I struggle with lifting things that I used to toss around like it was nothing.  And, frankly, I'm a Morris Man, and that means I like being STRONG.  Right, Dad?  That's what he always told me, anyway.

I still have memories of him doing chin ups on the rafters above our patio.  He was pretty ripped.  And my brother, sheesh, he's a fricken TANK.  But, uh, in a good way.

So, now I'm on the path toward health and strength.  And people watching.

There's this "gym rat" who is ALWAYS at the gym where I go- he walks around in his tight black tank top and cell-phone-carrying-arm-band, picking out the most outlandish workouts I've ever seen (balancing on a halfball while holding a 45 lb. weight, for example), then pretending to be on the phone with someone talking about how he's still at the gym.  I kinda just want to put my arm around his sweaty little frame and say, "It's okay, man.  You're cool.  You have friends.  You don't need to prove anything."

Well, my goal is to gain 5 pounds of muscle, and be able to run a mile in 7 min.  Think I can do it?

Took long enough...

I think I'm realizing daily how this mourning process works.  After being dumped by DC- it's been a roller coaster day to day.  Some days I try to convince myself that things are "better this way" and that "God's got another plan" and yada, yada.  Then the next day I'm writing the most depressing songs of my life.  Here's  a clip from the latest:

Now I'm half-asleep, waiting on my knees for my damn savior to come
And there's no pearly gates in sight.
And through half-open eyes I live a half-lived life...


You get the idea.  Sigh.  I feel bad for Julie.  She has to see me and wonder what the heck is going on.  I think the pain of DC is just going to linger for another year at least.

I've been somehow able to read this book given to me by Tracy called "The Forgotten Ways" which basically outlines why churches that do what was done to me are becoming obsolete and irrelevant in our modern world.  When churches cannot handle honesty and work from a hierarchical top-down leadership structure, it's a dangerous setup for power trips and burn-outs and lots of scars.

Sometimes I imagine myself as one of the disciples, following Jesus around.  Sometimes I'm Peter, gung-ho and headstrong to keep the faith (and failing miserably).  Sometimes I'm doubting Thomas- skeptical and a little unsure of all of this.  Sometimes I'm John, just feeling loved by God and in harmony with everything. And sometimes I'm Judas, thinking that at any moment I'm just going to pull the plug on all of this and sabotage everything.  Right now, I think I'm Bartholomew.  What did he do?  I think he just kinda followed people around nodding and stuff.

Hope this isn't too depressing- just needed to get it out with the thought that maybe someone will read this and identify with something.

Drink Peet's.
Tim

That's what family is for!

I talked with Julie tonight about our family.  Her side, my side...  the changes that have been taking place.  The struggles.  The small victories.  The pain.  I realized something that's hard for me to say.

But before I say it, I think you should know something about me.

I HATE being put in a box.  I don't care if you label me a "doofus" or a "genius"... I just don't want the label or the stigma attached to it.  I'm ME, okay, and so sometimes I'll be a little of this and sometimes a little of that.  Life is tough enough as it is without someone I love trying to tell ME how I am.  Only the good Lord knows me, and I'm pretty sure he's still working on me and shaping me into something better.  The last thing I need is someone I love and respect going, "Gee, Tim, you are such a _____," and now instead of growing I'm focused on whether or not I'm _______ing.  Thanks a lot.

That being said and understood, here is my realization.

A lot of people are going through sh*t right now.  I mean, deep sh*t.  So much sh*t that I'll include TWO asterisks the next time I write sh**.  And often their world is REELING.  They are giving all that they have to the people around them, that the last thing they need is to try and keep track of the latest development in the life of Tim.  In fact, although they may say, "Tim, tell me what's going on in your life," they're probably thinking, "I don't have an ounce of strength to give sympathy or praise to you."  They WANT to be able to be the big brother or sister or uncle or whatever to me, but they can't.  Plain and simple.  They're having trouble just being themselves, to themselves.

So, this is what I say:

"I, Tim Morris, can be predictable."

I can just be "good ol' Tim."

I can make you laugh.

I can be the "funny man."

I can be playful, aloof, and a bit ordinary.  Sometimes that helps.

This is not who I believe I am, at the core, but dammit, if your soul just needs a slice of dependability, I will serve you up a dish of "dependable Tim" that you won't recover from for years (I can be pretty wild and funny).

So sit back, family-- stop feeling obligated that you need to obey your own roles within the family.  I'll take over for awhile.

All I ask is that in this time, you be true to yourselves.  Let yourselves really listen to your heart.  Let yourselves embrace your own lightness and darkness in a world of confusion.  You have no role to play for me.  Be whoever the heck you need to be.  I know how horrible it can feel to be out of control.  I know you feel like you don't have any say in your own damn universe-- just allow yourself to admit it.

Admit it.

God doesn't laugh at that.  God doesn't mock us for being shocked that our world is out of our control.  He knows that we feel that it should.  To some extent, it WILL, one day.

But for now, it's gonna suck a little bit.

But Tim will be here.  However you need him.

I'm not all THAT attached to my "un-label-ability."

When men are men

This afternoon Noah, Jeff and I explored the depths of our manhood while our wives were out at a party.  We worked in the yard.  We sweat.  We got filthy.  We used power tools.  We talked about our weaknesses.

 I love these men.  I love their honesty.  I love their desire to be good men.  I love that they are trying to learn how to love their wives better.  I love that I can laugh with them, share a quiet moment of sadness, or chop the hell out of a piece of old fence-board.  I love that they don't act like they need to prove anything to the world.  They are who they are.  At times they are passionate- other times calm and borderline lazy (okay, we're all a bit lazy!).  At times they are hilariously funny-- other times they are compassionate and thoughtful.  They love God, but don't settle for a "cookie cutter" faith that Christendom tries to place on them.  They have much life in them.  Life that feeds my soul.

They help to remind me that

it's

good

to

be

a

man.

And, for some reason, black widows are fun to spit on.

Project: Pipe

So, my question to myself is:  can I change this:

(taken from amsmoke.com)

to this:

Okay, so I'll probably never create something as beautiful as a Savinelli (shown above), but my next "man project" is to create my own pipe.  I'm way in over my head, but I'm hoping that if nothing else, it will be a chance for me to scratch my creative-constructing itch-  and maybe make a nice gift afterwards?

So that's what I'm shooting for, anyway...  I'll keep you updated on the process.

Timorus

Simplicity in the Emerging Missional Church

This morning as I was waiting for the Watkins' sprinklers to go through their 2 hour manual driven cycle (can I just say there's got to be a better way?) I was reading from Alan Hirsch's The Forgotten Ways.  The author is studying various cultures in which a Christ-following faith is actually flourishing and theorizing what makes them work.

One thing, he says, is a simplification of the gospel message, to make it "easily transferred from one person to the next."  Hirsch says that "for an underground church, all the clutter of unnecessary traditional interpretations and theological paraphernalia is removed.  It has neither the time nor the internal capacity to maintain weighty systematic theologies and churchly dogma.  It must 'travel light.'"

This intrigued me as I remember the very recent past of my life with DC.  Although I know the author is speaking metaphorically of "traveling light", I remember physically lugging around hundreds of pounds of equipment every Sunday in order to set up what I call the "church show" for the morning consumers.. er.. congregants (apologies for my cynicism).  It was so much work and I often was too worried about whether the equipment was set up correctly or not that I missed most of what God was trying to do.

What a good physical example of a spiritual reality.  The more we try to "pile on" our theologies or dogmas or interpretations, the bigger the yoke of slavery we put around our necks.  The Pharisees were really good at this.  They taught their adherents to work themselves to death and call it "obedience."  Even relaxing on the Sabbath took work to make sure you weren't working!

If this is true, if "traveling light" is the best way for the gospel to spread and for God's Kingdom to be furthered, than what do I have that is "heavy"?  And what do I do with my degree in 'Ministry' and all the time and money I have spent into learning "theological paraphernalia"?

I'm not going to take a radical approach on this one (weird, huh?).  I DON'T think that a simple theology is the PRIMARY reason the underground church takes off.  So, yes, I think there is much to be sloughed off (for instance, theological debates about whether the bread and wine actually physically BECOME the body and blood of Christ when blessed) but there is also much to be gained about involving our minds into our faith. This must be in moderation, however (interesting, kinda like drinking...), because if we get too into dogma or theological pursuits we could lose the passion and excitement in the simplicity of the Gospel.  I think there's an easy test to see if you have too much "baggage."

If someone were to come up to you today and say, "I'm really sorry this is so forward, but I heard that you are a Christian.  Can you explain to me how I can be one, too?"  And you start off by saying something like, "Well, there are many schools of thought on the issue..." or "I know someone else you can talk to about that..." or "Why don't you just come to a Bible study..."  I think it's safe to say that you're lugging around too much "Churchy" baggage.

If, however, you have excitement and passion and get that holy sensation that God is using you for His plans, and start off by saying something like: "I would love to share with you how I found God..."  and then explain how they can do the same, I think a "traveling light" philosophy is in place.  THAT is a faith that is contagious... THAT is a confidence in Christ that I want to know more about.

Do you remember how you found God?  Or maybe more accurate, how God found you?

I've got way more thoughts on the issue, but that's enough for today.

-Tim

"Now THAT'S a rant."

A friend of a friend "ranted" on the internet about the church and worship and revival...  he expressed a slightly differing opinion than the masses --which I applaud--, but (and, no offense to him) if THAT'S a rant, then Oscar the Grouch is Hitler.

I understand the pressure to be "PC" and not offend anybody.  I understand the pressure to make sure you're not misunderstood... but geez.  Look at the damn Bible.  We have --in timeless written form-- Jesus shouting out in public at well-intentioned religious folk: "You brood of vipers!"  He wasn't PC with his comments.  He saw that what those Pharisees were doing was detrimental to the Kingdom.  He saw that the rules and institutionalization they were pushing on everybody (yep, I just vocabulated) were just tearing down all of the work He was trying to do.  He let it be known publicly and unabashedly that they were doing wrong.

Granted.  He's the Son of God.  He lived a blameless life, so he had every right to throw the stone.  But the thing is, He didn't.  He didn't physically act against them.  He didn't try to overthrow them or kill them.  (put down your pitchforks)  So what did he do?

He vocalized the injustice.  He spoke out about their evil hearts.  He shined the light on their twisted sense of obedience so that others may be wary.

I believe that is the call for every follower of Christ.  I feel like most disciples are too quiet about the fact that "Church as we know it" in America is 90% BS.  Most people just shrug and say, "Yeah, it's not perfect, I guess, but it's all we've got."

WHY IS IT ALL WE'VE GOT??  Since when has discipleship become a passive experience that you take in, like a shot at a clinic???  Since when have Christian leaders risen to the status of "Supreme Dictator" and all the congregation bows before their every whim?  

I'm not looking for a perfect community.  No.  In fact, I'm not LOOKING for anything.  I'm praying and begging God to teach our generation to stop drinking the Christendom sludge that has been forced down our throats.  It's like the parent that stops the kid before he puts the nasty lollipop that he just found under the couch and says, "Do you know where that's been??!"

Christians: do you know where your religion has been??  Do you know why there are denominations? Do you know when and why we shifted from a powerful grassroots faith lead by the Son of God to a castrated institution of ineffective witnessing lead by bureaucracy?  Do you know the difference between Protestant and Catholic?  If you did than you would see that there shouldn't be a difference.  Jesus didn't come to the earth to teach us how to sit politely in pews.

Have we forgotten that God knows our hearts?  Have we forgotten that we are held accountable to the things we do AND DON'T DO?  If you know in your heart that the church you go to is spewing lies and conveying a picture of the Kingdom that is FALSE and you do nothing about it because you feel like you're getting "fed" and at least the children are out of your hair for an hour...  What a sad response to the glory due our King.  

What is a disciple?  I was a part of a church that called themselves, "Disciples Church."  They taught me more than ever before that America has no idea what it means to be a Disciple.  At this church, decisions were made quickly, rashly, and with no biblical or ethical basis.  People were manipulated and guilted every week to quote, "serve" by doing some dumb task within the church that just scratches the congregation's own back.  Will no one walk in Christ's shoes?  Will no one stand up to the Pharisees of our day?  Will no one pray the dangerous prayer: "God, teach me Your way, that I may walk in Your truth" ??

Our country is headed down the toilet... so they tell me...

So I was browsing the news headlines and I realized that I haven't heard anything bad about Obama in awhile and I was wondering what Republicans have been up to for all this time... I didn't have to look far to discover one website, "Obamasfailures.com"-- a site that really doesn't make any sense because it's full of videos that have been removed by youtube.  It would have been nice if they would have just listed them out for me...

No worries, though, I found on that site a link to PURE TREASURE!!  It's called "The Texas Nationalist Movement" and here's the link: Texas Nationalist Movement

From what I've gathered, the whole point of the "Movement" is to get Texas to Secede from the United States of America.  This, I think, would actually solve a lot of problems.  No offense to those kind-hearted Texans out there, but I can't help but imagine that if Texas became it's own country, they'd try to blow up America at the first sign of an "intruder" into their land and get hopelessly squashed.  Yeah.  Not pretty.

The first article I came across on the website was one that stated that Mexico has artifacts that belong to Texas, including, the very important flag of Alamo, and they want it back!  Texas is in the process of SUING Mexico to get their flag back.  Wow.  That's worth thousands of dollars in court fees.  It's like, "We broke up, Your Honor, and now all I want is my toothbrush back... and maybe a few million dollars in punitive damages!!"

The next article I read was by a guy named Dave Mundy who believes that the United States government has sent Mexican spies into Texas who are going to try and "take back" Texas and claim it as a part of Mexico.  This assumption is due to the fact that a Mexican-looking helicopter was spotted flying over Texas.  Well, no, let's put it another way-- Dave?  Quote: "Mexican military forces have brazenly violated our sovereign airspace."  Yes, Dave.  Wow.  Just.  Wow.  You have been betrayed.  Start packing your bags.

I've met quite a few Republicans lately that have just been IRATE about "the way things are going" and I could see why people would be mad about the economy tanking... but that's worldwide, and it is actually not really affecting most of the people that I meet.  I guess I'm just confused about what is so bad with the way things are going as far as our government is concerned and why a bumper sticker that reads, "Don't blame me, I didn't vote for him! (Obama)" 

Can anyone enlighten me as to why we should be mad about the "way things are going"?  I'm just curious if I'm missing something important besides a bunch of "tea parties" that sound like fun, but probably don't serve tea.

-Tim

Reflection on Rejection

I think sometimes I get a little full of myself.  Sometimes I tend to think that I'm pretty great- that people really like it when I'm around- and that they value my opinion, because they know that I'm always trying to help the situation.

The harsh reality is just that it's been awhile since I've been rejected.  I am one of the few lucky men in the world that have been blessed with a drop dead gorgeous wife who has brains, beauty, and an UNPRECEDENTED desire to honor and respect me.  On a daily basis I am appreciated for what I do- even if it's the tiniest little thing like not burning the crud out of our chicken dinner.  I get praised.  And kisses.  :)  Thank God for her!  Also, my family (both immediate and extended) are RIDICULOUS at appreciating me and lifting me up.  They eagerly listen to all my ramblings and praise me for my quirky thoughts and silly talents (like miming!!  LOL).

But this week I have been rejected.  Some of my closest friends in the world have decided that it would be better if I were not involved in their community any longer.

I've been voted off the island.

Sometimes it's hard to breathe, honestly.

I haven't cried like I have this week for many years.

Granted, change is inevitable.  People come and go on a week to week basis.  God often takes us where we don't expect.  But I don't think this was like that.

This was a simple rejection.  Maybe I played the "squeaky wheel" too often.  Maybe I was just too depressing.  Maybe I was obnoxious.  Maybe I was too opinionated.  Maybe too quiet.

But it's over.  And I'm out.  And I never thought it would be like this.  But I think that just shows that it's been awhile since I've been rejected and unappreciated.  It sucks.  But it's life.  Not everyone thinks you're an all-star.  In fact-- most probably don't.  They're just kind enough to keep it to themselves.

Do I have hard feelings?  I guess.  But not because I think the people that ousted me are bad people.  I think they are very good people.  Some of the best people I know.  I have hard feelings cuz it just sucks to be rejected.

Thanks for your prayers and support.  We are learning how to trust God more each day.

-Tim

"You will appear with Him in glory..."

Have you ever asked that deep, sometimes embarrassing question to yourself, "Where am I?" or  "What am I doing here?"

A dear friend of mine just recently explained that he has an alternate identity on the web so that "he can be free to spout off about whatever he wants to."  Especially since he's the type of public figure that people could misquote or get all huffy about if they don't agree, I understand his position.  But that leaves me with a question.

Who is he, then?

Who are any of us?  If our lives are so impacted by other people's opinions and demands of us, who are we, really, underneath all of that?  Is there a way to check?  Forgive the derogatory comment, but can we sort of lift up our skirts to see what's under all the cotton and lace?  Or, are we unable to get away from the lace and baggage that our environment heaps upon us?  Is that just the real us?

A man once said, "Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is our life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory."

I like the idea that as Christ-followers, we have died and HAVE NOT REAPPEARED yet.  It sorta takes the pressure off, doesn't it?  In my not-too-distant past, I have lived under the assumption that since I was a "born-again Christian" I should be able to put all my bad nature behind me and just be a great person from here on out.  Despite my best attempts, I fail ROYALLY and EPICALLY time and time again.  If this is the true me, and all of this struggle and fail and succeed and then fail again is as good as it gets-- well that's just disheartening.  Almost disheartening enough to question if I ever really "got saved."

However, the TRUE us-- what is  "hidden with Christ in God"-- has yet to be revealed.  I can't wait to see what I'm really like!  What remarkable people we will be when we are no longer bound to sin and greed and selfishness and other things of this life.  Things we do here ARE important, and we strive for holiness-- but who we are is HIDDEN and will appear when Christ returns.  Another reason to look forward to our Savior's second coming!


Hopefully this is a freeing thought!  You and I ARE saved, you and I ARE "being made new" but we are still hidden, yet to be finally revealed (in glory!) at Christ's triumphant second arrival.  See you then.

The American Dream

You looked me in the eye and said, quite plainly
The American Dream is a lie
Yeah, but, I said, look at your nice big house and backyard for having guests
All the cool gadgets and nice car and money to spend on whatever
But it's just stuff, you said
Yeah, but you can use it to honor God
Then you looked away

I started thinking about my dreams
If I was American or not with my passions
Yes, I'll be honest
I'm tired of not having money
I'm tired of not going out with my wife to a nice dinner
I'm tired of only buying what's used or on sale
Though I still like browsing the thrift stores... :)

But I WOULD like to own my own house
I WOULD like to be able to invest in musical equipment
I WOULD like to be able to buy Julie nice clothes
I WOULD like to be able to take classes
I WOULD like to be able to give away more
I WOULD like to be able to afford health insurance
I WOULD like to have a savings

I'm an American.
I DO pursue the American Dream
But I don't know why
It's just what I want
And now, thanks to you, friend,
I'm questioning all of that

God, guide my wandering heart
May I find solace in Your provision

Tell Your Friends...

This post is directed to massive rats that like to sneak into people's garages and eat their dog's food while everyone is asleep.

That's right.  Dead.  Dead you shall be if you dare try to infect my poor little dog with your disgusting diseases.

Sorry it's so graphic, everyone.  I just need to get my point across to all the rats out there who are thinking about living at my house.  YOU SHALL BE DESTROYED!!!  MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

And if the trap doesn't kill you all the way...

Then this hammer will finish the job!!

(Yes, that actually happened, BTdub.  The damn thing got himself trapped but wasn't dead yet, so he flailed around until I could finally end his miserable little life.)

Tell your friends, rats.

A Washington Trip To Remember...

Thought I'd go ahead and throw out a few blogthoughts on my recent trip to Washington.  First... some pictures!

I know, a little scary...

If you dare, more pictures can be found here at Tim's Picasa Website.

Baby, baby, baby.

Someday I'll have one of my own.  I may even let my wife help.

I just realized that I spent so much time just trying to figure out how to load these pictures onto here that it's 1 AM and I'm tired.  Boy, this post really sucked.  I need to work at this a little more.  Candace?  Help me.

Back to Washington!

Washington, Washington.

Cold, rainy, grey. Wonderful.

Smells of fresh fish, ocean breeze, and market spice tea.

Friends, family, coffee:

The cry of a new baby-

Beautiful.

Beer. Lots of tasty beer.

Thank God for Washington.

Prodigal Dog?

This is a story about a prodigal dog. My dog, Ellie. (She's the one at the top) The dog on the bottom is Penny. She is a hero. This is her tale.

************** *********** **********

When Julie and I were visiting my folks in San Luis Obispo, we lost our dog, Ellie.

When I went to feed her one night, I called her, and she didn't come. There was my parent's Golden Retriever, Penny, but no Ellie.

Then I saw our side gate that was swinging open, and I knew that Ellie was long gone. It was almost 7 pm, which meant finding a black dog on a dark night in a large neighborhood. I also remembered that she had just lost her collar and identification tags and so if someone found her, there would be no way for them to get a hold of me. I started panicking.

Dad and I decided that we had to do this as rationally as possible...

We prayed.

And then, just as we were about to start splitting up to search the neighborhood, we noticed that Penny had run off. Not in the yard, not across the street. Oh, wait! There she is! Aghast, my dad and I watched her fluffy golden tail disappear around the corner.

"Penny!" we yelled, afraid that we were about to lose ANOTHER dog. "COME!" Angry, impatient, and frustrated that our rescue search is being delayed due to an old, half deaf dog, we finally scream, "PENNY! COME HERE!"

She stopped,

looked at us,

and then kept on trotting down the street.

Oh, it was on at that point. I, in the lead, start sprinting after this bitch, full tilt. I hear my dad running right behind me. As I run I'm blinded by my pain of losing my dog, anger at this disobedient mutt, and fear for how I'm going to tell my wife that I lost our precious pooch. I'm actually starting to tear up when all of a sudden, I hear Dad say, "She-- she found her! She found Ellie!"

To my amazement, there, in front of me was Ellie-- sniffing and playing with Penny like they had never been separated. My dog was found! Penny found my dog!!

Later we discovered what had happened: Ellie had gotten out of the backyard when my dad's paragliding student had accidentally left the gate open and was picked up by some kids in the neighborhood around 4:30 in the afternoon. They had been going around door to door for the last 2 hours trying to find the owner and had just about decided they were going to quit for the day when they heard us calling after Penny. The rest is history.

We gave Penny an extra helping of dinner that night. Way to go, miracle dog. Thank you, God.

Home and home again

It's hard not to love San Luis Obispo, CA. The ocean is right under your toes, the weather is unbelievable, the atmosphere is casual. Spending time with family was sweet. And there was a new member to my family this time... weighing in at a whopping 6 pounds, 2 ounces.


Holding my brand new niece was unexplicable. I felt so much pride in this little cutie- but seeing her with my sister-in-law and brother was just miraculous.















What is it about new life that is so ... awakening? It's like a gentle reminder from God that He

loves


His


creation.


So much, in fact, that he enables His creation to also share in the joy of creating. What a gift! What Grace! (which is, incidentally, the name of my niece)

I'm not one that's shmoopsy about babies. There are cute ones, u g l y ones, and ones that are easily forgettable. But being an uncle- feeling the responsibility and helplessness in taking care of this child was so .. it.. it just took me off guard. I looked into this child's eyes...



And I experienced a whisper from God. "Look into the eyes of my newness. Look into the depth of my creation-spirit. Laugh with me-- cry with me-- feel the sensations of goodness. I love you, much in the way that you love this child of your brother's. I will protect you, in the ways in which you wish you could protect this babe. I will always be with you- even when you think you don't need me. I will always desire to be near you- even when you feel unlovely and shameful. I will cherish our times together."


This week was a re-awakening for me. Gracie Maralyn Morris, I will always cherish you. Welcome to your family.


Well done, Josh. Well done, Kat. You've changed the world.

(All pictures copyright Josh Morris)