I just finished an excellent book by Jeff Chu entitled,
Does God Really Love Me? and I love it. It's really opened my eyes to a new perspective on the spirituality of those in the LGBTQ community. I have always held that the easiest way to judge someone is to refuse to get to know them. Reading Chu's interviews with a large variety of "gay-friendly" and "gay-bashing" people and churches allowed me to hear the voices of those that I don't always hear.
My own small house church supports, welcomes and loves gays and straights, athiests and heretics alike. The "heretics" part is why they allow me to attend. :)
I went to Durham's Pride Parade last month. It really was fun and delightful but I did have this little thought. Well, okay, here it is. But I'm going to start by comparing it to something else. Let's say my next door neighbor was a Harley-Davidson rider and he was just really into Harleys and big engines and bar fights and stuff. But lets say I'm a nerd (not hard to imagine) and motorcycles scare me and I see that whole macho thing as a cover for deep insecurities. If Mr. Harley and I meet at say, the grocery store, I can see that he is a vegetarian and prefers wheat toast over white. He's no longer the freak next door, he's a person just like me.
If, however, I only saw him in the context of Harley-Davidson conventions, I would have all these misconceptions about who he really is. He's only trying to really embrace his identity but to me it looks like he's flipping crazy and a heathen and maybe going to hell. Tattoos. Sheesh. The nerve.
Okay, so here's me tying it together. The Pride parade looked like a Harley convention to me. Yes, these are real people expressing themselves and it's fun and lighthearted. But I don't think it's a fair representation of "gay people" as a whole- more like an exaggeration of one sect of that community. So if I was a slightly homophobic Christian and I (incorrectly) assumed that this is what all gay people look and act like, I would think myself justified in my prejudices of their lewd behavior and immorality.
ARE YOU SAYING WE SHOULDN'T HAVE PRIDE PARADES??
Hell no. That's not what I'm saying at all. I guess I'm just trying to say that Pride parades can confuse straight people into thinking that those exaggerations are the real experiences for all gay people, and this is purely the fault of the straight people.
Jeff Chu was coming into this problem when he was interviewing "gay-bashing" churches and pastors. They had this phrase that they would use: the "gay lifestyle" (i.e."God does not approve of the gay lifestyle, but it's okay for people to struggle with homosexuality as long as they remain celibate") And for them, the "gay lifestyle" means the Pride Parade lifestyle as they perceived it: people half-dressed with masks on and multiple sex partners and diseases and probably some witchcraft. Because they didn't actually know real gay people, they were taking what they saw at these events (or poorly made hollywood films) and applying them to everyone who said they were "gay" "lesbian" "bi" or "transgender." The truth is that I know many gay and transgender folks who are down to earth and kind and spiritual and committed to one person. (Why does that sound like I just said "I've got binders full of women"?) Some of them don't even go to Pride Parade because they don't enjoy it.
MY POINT
is that in order to bridge the gap between the LGBTQ community and the conservative Christian community there has to be the understanding that there is no such thing as one all encompassing "gay lifestyle." The truth is that these are just real human beings who are expressing themselves in different ways. Just because you may not understand a Harley Convention doesn't mean that you won't be able to understand a person who enjoys riding Harleys. And the topic of morality must never be used as a method of judging or condemning someone.
WHAT WE SHOULD DO
as straight people is, after the parade is over, to celebrate with real people in real ways- approving of every human being's attempt to find themselves and walk with God. Reminding ourselves that no matter how bizarre someone might seem to us- they put their pants, leather chaps, or fishnet stockings on one leg at a time, just like we do.
They don't judge us for being straight, so why should we judge them?
He told me I could sit down and he would bring it out to me. I sat in a handsome leather wingback chair and dove into "Uncommon Grounds" a book about coffee by a guy named Pendergrast. Delightful. There's a dad with his little toddler in the couch next to me. She's proudly exclaiming, "I'll have that! I'll have that!" to nothing in particular.
