I think sometimes I get a little full of myself. Sometimes I tend to think that I'm pretty great- that people really like it when I'm around- and that they value my opinion, because they know that I'm always trying to help the situation.
The harsh reality is just that it's been awhile since I've been rejected. I am one of the few lucky men in the world that have been blessed with a drop dead gorgeous wife who has brains, beauty, and an UNPRECEDENTED desire to honor and respect me. On a daily basis I am appreciated for what I do- even if it's the tiniest little thing like not burning the crud out of our chicken dinner. I get praised. And kisses. :) Thank God for her! Also, my family (both immediate and extended) are RIDICULOUS at appreciating me and lifting me up. They eagerly listen to all my ramblings and praise me for my quirky thoughts and silly talents (like miming!! LOL).
But this week I have been rejected. Some of my closest friends in the world have decided that it would be better if I were not involved in their community any longer.
I've been voted off the island.
Sometimes it's hard to breathe, honestly.
I haven't cried like I have this week for many years.
Granted, change is inevitable. People come and go on a week to week basis. God often takes us where we don't expect. But I don't think this was like that.
This was a simple rejection. Maybe I played the "squeaky wheel" too often. Maybe I was just too depressing. Maybe I was obnoxious. Maybe I was too opinionated. Maybe too quiet.
But it's over. And I'm out. And I never thought it would be like this. But I think that just shows that it's been awhile since I've been rejected and unappreciated. It sucks. But it's life. Not everyone thinks you're an all-star. In fact-- most probably don't. They're just kind enough to keep it to themselves.
Do I have hard feelings? I guess. But not because I think the people that ousted me are bad people. I think they are very good people. Some of the best people I know. I have hard feelings cuz it just sucks to be rejected.
Thanks for your prayers and support. We are learning how to trust God more each day.
-Tim
