Best way to wake up

Today, I woke up sleeping next to a gorgeous woman.  Luckily, it was my wife.  ;)

Then I looked outside and my heart stopped for a second.  Every tree, rock, and knoll was covered in an inch of fresh fallen snow!  It was like God blessed the world with a light dusting of his grandeur.  So lovely!  I walked downstairs and there was a hot fire roaring in the fireplace.  My Father greeted me with a smile.  Soon the smell of fresh coffee and homemade blueberry muffins filled the air.  The sun slowly peeked its way up over the trees.  One by one, little birds began to shake off the snow from their protective feathers and search for breakfast. 

Lately, it's been hard to find peace in my life.  The best I usually get is on one of my lunch breaks at work.  I can put on my headphones, sip a cappuccino and free write or read.  Breathing in the Holy Spirit, I exhale frustrations, emotional pain, and stress.  But those "peace breaks" are only small snippets of cleansing and renewal.  Here, in Maple Valley, I have discovered that while in Sacramento I have been "holding my breath," so-to-speak, for the last 3 months.  Due to a stressful time at work, tough situations with my family, and all the difficulties that go into helping Julie prepare to go back to school, I haven't really relaxed in awhile. 

Here, on the other hand, I can really exhale.  Here, I can take a DEEP breath, and feel myself being refreshed by Washington's clean air, beautiful countryside, and compassionate people.  Having a whole week to recoup is probably a big part of it.  Here, one of the biggest problems is evil magicians (actual quote from Julie this morning, "I always attack the magician first.").  Did I mention that I've been playing a lot of video games?

So thank you, friends and family (Becca, Lilli, Mom, Dad, Joel, Candace, Abby- and soon Jenn, Brian, and Olive), for helping to heal up poor Timorus' heart, and thank you, Washington, for doing what you always do.  (I would say thank you to God, but it feels too trite to do it here, and plus it's way too personal to share with the world wide web.)

Tim

P.S.  Didn't mean to rub it in with my title, Jeff.  I just thought it was funny.  :)

The Church: Transforming the world into... ??

Funny how time changes things.  Funny how people's actions based out of fear and insecurity can alter your perspective on much of what they spent their lives telling you.

One man told me that the Church is God's way of transforming the world-- and in fact, it is the single most effective way to glorify God.  Then he kicked me out of his church cuz I didn't fit in.

Logically, one could deduce from the combination of his philosophy and his actions that God wants to transform the world using The Church, and The Church is only for those who fit in.  The Church is an exclusive country club, essentially.

I call "BS."  Up until now, I've gone along with those pastors and theologians that convinced a smattering of their own followers that The Church is the method for God's hand (and any number of horrible analogies). I have come to realize (and I'm sorry if this offends you) that what they really mean when they say that is: come to MY church and put your money in my offering plates.  They don't want to hear any other interpretation of Jesus' sending out the 12.  They want to learn more techniques and gimmicks to get more people to trust them and volunteer and put more money in the plates.

You see, after the Resurrection, Jesus sends out the 12 to "go forth and make disciples," but I don't think there was an asterisk on the end of that statement that says, "*because this is the single most effective way to glorify God and transform the world-- oh, AND making disciples means excluding those who don't fit in to your Sunday services."

Stop me if this is going too far, but --from where I'm sitting-- to reinterpret (and thus, MISinterpret) Jesus' words to serve our OWN purposes and agendas (and paycheck), seems a little... blasphemous?  Some might call that person a False Prophet.  I think Jesus called this type a "Brood of Vipers."

Think, oh you who profess to be followers of God.  THINK.

Church can just "go on as usual" because, "hey, nothing's perfect" and "besides, there are lots of good things that come from it... like... potlucks"?  Or you can call BS.

Some call the American consumeristic church as today's Anti-Christ.  A force so alluring and powerful that it can not be ironed out, only left to rot and decay or be destroyed by the Second Coming.  I say, a new path must be forged.  The funny thing is that it is NOT a new path, but the original path that Christ asked us to take in the first place.

Think about Christ's words!  How much does one need to tithe in order to "take up one's cross"?  How many weeks do you need to volunteer to babysit in the nursery in order to "stay on the narrow path"?  What clothes should I wear and what things should I say so that I "fit in" to the "feast of God that ALL are welcomed to"?

I have been afraid to say these things that are on my heart because I don't want to hurt more people, but the fact is, PEOPLE ARE GETTING HURT by the Church's blasphemies.  Some may never see God because of the Church's evil practices and politics.  I will stick up for those who have been burned and beaten by the insecure liars and demons in "their Sunday best."  I will not stand by and watch a "holy life-boat" run over another follower of God in their quest to convert more people to join their exclusive club.  It's f**ked up.  I think Jesus would say so.

Little Sis

You graduate today
You big girl, you
Five years in college with a double major didn't seem so hard now did it?
Not with what you went through

And are still going through

Wish I could give you something you could really use today
Not a few bucks to spend on groceries
Not a gift card that will just get lost
But a gift of worth.

Today, you rise in victory
It might not feel like a glorious victory
It might feel like you just limped across the finish line
But it's A victory
And it's been awhile since we've had that.

Thanks, Missy, on behalf of all of us
You carried on.
You pushed yourself to the very limit.
You did it.

I am so proud of you.

I can't wait to see how you change the world.

Here I sit

I'm sitting on the patio at work as the cool morning breeze and mist ruffles my late-morning-bed-head hair. 

I'm watching the yellow autumn leaves flutter to the ground. 

I'm sipping a clandestined cappuccino- warmth fills my stomach and soul. 

The marbled gray sky sends kisses to the earth, and the trees bow in respect. 

My face tingles with the touch of Autumn's delight.

So, who am I?

This child of the Fall

Ashamed of imperfections I possess and pursue

Enjoying such pleasures as passions will endure

Occasionally, I, on my luckiest days

Will become more than mortal

And I will see the beauty that I have missed

As the willow trees hide their sorrows in a kiss

For the earth

I cry for a second chance to take not from the Tree

But to receive such mercies as Fall from Thee

Too short for deep thoughts

This morning as I was getting ready for work at 4:15 AM... (*yes, you can groan with sympathy for me*) ...I looked down at my beautiful sleeping wife and thought: I just might be the luckiest man in the world.  And then I thought- no, there MUST be someone more luckier than me. 

Then I thought some more.

And I decided that yet, indeed, I MUST be the luckiest man in the world. 

I love you Joules.
Tim

"Your loveliness none can see with the fullness that it deserves."

Boringest post ever. Sorry.

I'm wearing a new sweater that Julie picked out for me.  It's gray and warm and so S.O.F.T.

Work has been tough.  I feel stretched thinner than I've felt in a long time.  Lots of hard work with little recognition (and mostly complaints) is difficult for anyone.  My boss was made "Manager of the Quarter" for our district.  I know he doesn't really get a whole lot of recognition- he tends to focus more on the out of sight things that help a store succeed financially, and he's not the best at encouraging the team.  But he's one of the better managers I have had in my life, and I am grateful to be working with him.  And our store has made our budget for the last 11 months (which is pretty impressive for a post-recession).

I'm starting to wonder if I will get promoted or not to Assistant Manager after the holidays like they said- AND if I will enjoy it if I do get promoted.  I feel like, essentially, I'm doing all the things that an ASM does right now: ordering supplies, doing all the promotional work, keeping track of our sales targets and goals, inventory, etc.   So, I guess it's just the raise and the recognition that I'm after...

I would like to go to Maple Valley for Christmas.  I really would.  But sadly, I think I'm going to have to work (especially since two of our shift leads just quit).  :(

Julie and I are just going to have to try to make something special out of what we got.  We're going to the snow on Sunday, at least!!  (note to self: check to make sure we have chains...)  We may even get a Christmas tree!

Thanks for reading my nonsense.