As I try to finish the last of this burnt-to-a-crisp, poor attempt at a potato pancake that I made, I wonder about life.
What does it mean to be a disciple? Does it mean that one is expected to create services that require very much effort in an effort to seem effortless? Does it mean that one is expected to "volunteer" his or her time and talents in ways in which he or she is not talented nor interested in? Does it mean that one is expected to meet once a week to talk and catch up with "brothers" and "sisters" who are otherwise not involved in his life? Does it mean that his non-Christian coworkers at a part-time job seem closer to him and more loving than his church?
Don't read what I'm not saying. I'm not trying to accuse anyone of anything. In fact, I think the reason I see certain issues in which the church is failing is that I have contributed very strongly to that fact.
I just don't like it. Yeah. Strong stance, I know.
I wish I could understand it better. I wish I was more radical- so that when I had a thought I would always "put my money where my mouth is" and live it out. I wish I was more conservative- so that when people get all high on their soapboxes and preach at me I could smile and continue to love them fully and in Truth. I wish I worked with the community more.
I once made up this story about how I cared for the world but nobody else did and how I thought it was going to just disintegrate but it didn't because--who knew?-- people DO care.
And then I thought some more and realized that even if people didn't care like I originally thought, it would still take a lot of work to really destroy the world. God seems to have been the only one to put a significant threat on the World's life. And then again, all the fish and seaweed and squid and octopi did just fine during the flood. Hm.
It doesn't scare me to think about the world ending anymore. Instead, I get scared about the world just spinning, spinning, spinning into boring apathy.
I haven't hugged a stranger in a long time.
