Hello, my dear friends-
Julie and I are in Maple Valley, WA, beginning our journey into family Christmas celebrations. We celebrated Mom's birthday tonight with an amazing three-course meal designed by senior chef Jonathan Morris. As family gathered around the table, I was reminded and humbled by the gift of life. So many factors could have dramatically altered the outcome of this family- for instance: what if mom and dad had gotten so sick that one night in college when they got food poisoning from chicken broth that they couldn't have children? What if Julie had never been born? I shudder to think!
Christmas to me this year is unrivaled to all previous Christmases. It's been a tough year- losing jobs, finding new ones, losing those new ones, getting new jobs, losing those new jobs, being severely sick, having a severely sick dog... We've taken a hit to our sense of security and protection. Love has been stretched, grown, and reinvented. I've often felt like an amateur runner in a massive marathon who has already gotten a stitch in his side after the first hour of running. Is it even worth it to keep running the race if I feel so much pain now?
I watch two of my brothers exchange hugs in the kitchen, and I know that instead of embracing family and personal connection I have much too often succumbed to a worldly mindset of "How much do I have to live on?" Who knows what God is planning for us? Hasn't he been good in providing miraculous ways of taking care of our finances? Yes, God, yes, you have taken care of us- through the generous hands of our family and friends (THANK YOU FAMILY, if you are reading this, we love you so much), and through the daily healing and developing of our hearts as we learn to trust You in this uncertain time.
So, Christmas has begun for me, starting when Julie and I celebrated just the joy of surviving and thriving in another year on this earth. Thank You, God, for this family- this pace of life- this chance to experience Your love in a new, tangible way. We are so lucky.
Tim
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A freaky scene at my mechanic's shop
Yesterday, Julie and I headed over to our personal mechanic's shop in a boring business district of Sacramento. He was fixing our new civic's automatic window cuz it had jammed and while I was admiring how fast and skilled his (pardon the racial terminology) little Asian fingers worked- an SUV carrying a furiously enraged black woman barreled into the parking lot and screeched to a halt. The aforementioned woman bursted from the vehicle, storming her way into the shop where she proceeded to shout umentionable (yet creative) words and phrases directed towards her overweight husband, a mechanic employed at the shop.
Okay, she was SCREAMING. I think we could have heard her from Folsom. We were all doing our best to pretend like we weren't listening, but soon the action escalated and exploded from inside the shop out into the parking lot (where my mechanic was operating). The woman (scorned) ran around her SUV, banging her fists into various locations of the vehicle, cursing quite proficiently, and then jumped inside the driver's side, attempting to leave her dumbfounded husband in the dust. He, however, opened the door and got halfway in as she floored it. Another round of cursing, and then she grabbed him by the collar of his mechanic's garb, and wouldn't let go. She was strangling him. It was a stalemate for about 5 minutes, and then she floored it and they disappeared into heavy traffic. This was all happening about ten feet from us.
Julie and I found it a little difficult to process this whole thing. Sure, we've seen people fight, and TV sitcoms are pretty good at creating dramatic situations to laugh at, but this was so degrading-- so emasculating-- so violent-- we saw the world in a little darker shade that day, I think. What would possess this woman into thinking that it would be okay to burst into her husband's workplace and make a total ass out of him in front of his peers? What could have happened that would be so worth putting their lives and the lives of anyone else they drive near in jeopardy? Is this commonplace among couples? Did they see their own parents do this? Do they know their parents? Am I just completely out of touch with real life?
Tonight Julie and I sat out on our patio with Ellie, enjoyed the cool night air, sipped strong libations, puffed on a fabulous cigar and cloves, and pondered life and our place in it. It was a time when we remembered why we love each other and how blessed we are.
Cheers.
Okay, she was SCREAMING. I think we could have heard her from Folsom. We were all doing our best to pretend like we weren't listening, but soon the action escalated and exploded from inside the shop out into the parking lot (where my mechanic was operating). The woman (scorned) ran around her SUV, banging her fists into various locations of the vehicle, cursing quite proficiently, and then jumped inside the driver's side, attempting to leave her dumbfounded husband in the dust. He, however, opened the door and got halfway in as she floored it. Another round of cursing, and then she grabbed him by the collar of his mechanic's garb, and wouldn't let go. She was strangling him. It was a stalemate for about 5 minutes, and then she floored it and they disappeared into heavy traffic. This was all happening about ten feet from us.
Julie and I found it a little difficult to process this whole thing. Sure, we've seen people fight, and TV sitcoms are pretty good at creating dramatic situations to laugh at, but this was so degrading-- so emasculating-- so violent-- we saw the world in a little darker shade that day, I think. What would possess this woman into thinking that it would be okay to burst into her husband's workplace and make a total ass out of him in front of his peers? What could have happened that would be so worth putting their lives and the lives of anyone else they drive near in jeopardy? Is this commonplace among couples? Did they see their own parents do this? Do they know their parents? Am I just completely out of touch with real life?
Tonight Julie and I sat out on our patio with Ellie, enjoyed the cool night air, sipped strong libations, puffed on a fabulous cigar and cloves, and pondered life and our place in it. It was a time when we remembered why we love each other and how blessed we are.
Cheers.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Potato Pancakes and a Sprite
As I try to finish the last of this burnt-to-a-crisp, poor attempt at a potato pancake that I made, I wonder about life.
What does it mean to be a disciple? Does it mean that one is expected to create services that require very much effort in an effort to seem effortless? Does it mean that one is expected to "volunteer" his or her time and talents in ways in which he or she is not talented nor interested in? Does it mean that one is expected to meet once a week to talk and catch up with "brothers" and "sisters" who are otherwise not involved in his life? Does it mean that his non-Christian coworkers at a part-time job seem closer to him and more loving than his church?
Don't read what I'm not saying. I'm not trying to accuse anyone of anything. In fact, I think the reason I see certain issues in which the church is failing is that I have contributed very strongly to that fact.
I just don't like it. Yeah. Strong stance, I know.
I wish I could understand it better. I wish I was more radical- so that when I had a thought I would always "put my money where my mouth is" and live it out. I wish I was more conservative- so that when people get all high on their soapboxes and preach at me I could smile and continue to love them fully and in Truth. I wish I worked with the community more.
I once made up this story about how I cared for the world but nobody else did and how I thought it was going to just disintegrate but it didn't because--who knew?-- people DO care.
And then I thought some more and realized that even if people didn't care like I originally thought, it would still take a lot of work to really destroy the world. God seems to have been the only one to put a significant threat on the World's life. And then again, all the fish and seaweed and squid and octopi did just fine during the flood. Hm.
It doesn't scare me to think about the world ending anymore. Instead, I get scared about the world just spinning, spinning, spinning into boring apathy.
I haven't hugged a stranger in a long time.
What does it mean to be a disciple? Does it mean that one is expected to create services that require very much effort in an effort to seem effortless? Does it mean that one is expected to "volunteer" his or her time and talents in ways in which he or she is not talented nor interested in? Does it mean that one is expected to meet once a week to talk and catch up with "brothers" and "sisters" who are otherwise not involved in his life? Does it mean that his non-Christian coworkers at a part-time job seem closer to him and more loving than his church?
Don't read what I'm not saying. I'm not trying to accuse anyone of anything. In fact, I think the reason I see certain issues in which the church is failing is that I have contributed very strongly to that fact.
I just don't like it. Yeah. Strong stance, I know.
I wish I could understand it better. I wish I was more radical- so that when I had a thought I would always "put my money where my mouth is" and live it out. I wish I was more conservative- so that when people get all high on their soapboxes and preach at me I could smile and continue to love them fully and in Truth. I wish I worked with the community more.
I once made up this story about how I cared for the world but nobody else did and how I thought it was going to just disintegrate but it didn't because--who knew?-- people DO care.
And then I thought some more and realized that even if people didn't care like I originally thought, it would still take a lot of work to really destroy the world. God seems to have been the only one to put a significant threat on the World's life. And then again, all the fish and seaweed and squid and octopi did just fine during the flood. Hm.
It doesn't scare me to think about the world ending anymore. Instead, I get scared about the world just spinning, spinning, spinning into boring apathy.
I haven't hugged a stranger in a long time.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Holy water and weird history...
The Pentateuch is full of treasures...
I'm reading through the book of Numbers. Found one that made my jaw drop... It's about what happens to a woman if she is suspected of cheating. Sorry it's long, but check out the "Holy Water" reference!
16 " 'The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the LORD. 17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the LORD, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. 19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, "If no other man has slept with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. 20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have defiled yourself by sleeping with a man other than your husband"- 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse of the oath-"may the LORD cause your people to curse and denounce you when he causes your thigh to waste away and your abdomen to swell. d]">[d] 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells and your thigh wastes away. e]">[e] "
" 'Then the woman is to say, "Amen. So be it."
The priest makes her drink holy mud and then curses her to have a miscarriage (in the footnote) and withered thighs!! Not to mention being cursed by her people. Just for suspicions from the husband...
I didn't even know there was holy water in the Bible. Thought that was just some Catholic thing. Shows my ignorance.
I hate the Law. I hate that God is perfect, and we are not. I hate that this is how our ancestors treated each other. Sometimes it still feels like God holds his perfection over us. That's probably just my own guilt and shame speaking, but when I read passages like this I wonder what God is really thinking.
Has God really remained unchanged since before time began?
I'm reading through the book of Numbers. Found one that made my jaw drop... It's about what happens to a woman if she is suspected of cheating. Sorry it's long, but check out the "Holy Water" reference!
16 " 'The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the LORD. 17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the LORD, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. 19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, "If no other man has slept with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. 20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have defiled yourself by sleeping with a man other than your husband"- 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse of the oath-"may the LORD cause your people to curse and denounce you when he causes your thigh to waste away and your abdomen to swell. d]">[d] 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells and your thigh wastes away. e]">[e] "
" 'Then the woman is to say, "Amen. So be it."
The priest makes her drink holy mud and then curses her to have a miscarriage (in the footnote) and withered thighs!! Not to mention being cursed by her people. Just for suspicions from the husband...
I didn't even know there was holy water in the Bible. Thought that was just some Catholic thing. Shows my ignorance.
I hate the Law. I hate that God is perfect, and we are not. I hate that this is how our ancestors treated each other. Sometimes it still feels like God holds his perfection over us. That's probably just my own guilt and shame speaking, but when I read passages like this I wonder what God is really thinking.
Has God really remained unchanged since before time began?
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