Beer and UFOs

So Andrew and I finally did it.  We brewed our very own beer.  And it didn't necessarily go as smoothly as I would have hoped.  But here's a step by step journey-- I invite you to tag along.

First, we needed to get supplies so we headed over to The Brewmeister, a homebrewing supply store in Folsom.

Here's a word for word exchange (mostly) we had with Dave, an unenthusiastic employee who had already put in his two weeks:

ME: "So, we want to do a homebrew and we're brand new at it."
DAVE:  (Silence.  Dead stare.)
ME:  "So... someone said that your kits are really good."
DAVE:  "Yeah, our kits are really good."
ME:  "Of course, we could just pick out our own ingredients based on a recipe."
DAVE:  "Yeah, but then you'd be here for an hour and you'd ask me all these questions and I'd be pissed.  I just got my dream job so I don't care about this one anymore.  I've been pretty much getting drunk every night and barely being able to pay my bills."
ME:  "Okay, we'll get a kit."

100 bucks later, we've got everything we need for a Belgian Double Bock except a 4 gallon boiling pot (they wanted 85 bucks for one in Brewmeister and I said NO).  We decided a thrift store is the proper place to get a cheap pot.  And it was.  Andrew and I entered Eco Thrift with a swagger in our step.  We looked left, then right, and then felt, nay, KNEW right where it was.  Aisle three.  Second shelf.  Next to the figurines of baby Jesus.  That pot glowed--nay-- it SANG up there on that shelf.  Calling us to grasp it's shiny handles and guess at the price.  A pot this magnificent should have been priceless, but I had to look: $7.95.  THE SKY OPENED UP AND THE BABY FIGURINES SHOUTED HALLELUJAH!!!!

Ahem.  So we got the pot and headed home.  Stoked to brew, we were disheartened to find out that the yeast needed to sit out for a day before we could use it.  Looks like we needed to postpone our brew date til after Easter on Monday morning at 7am, before I had to go to work.

AAAAA!!!  Now it's Monday Morning, at 9:07AM!!!  We overslept!!  The yeast is risen!  It's risen indeed!!!  We awoke in a panic.

 Quickly we sanitized our equipment and began steeping our grain.

I was still in my bathrobe at this point.

And now it was

The dogs paced in furious anticipation.

Okay, they just sat there and looked at us funny as we kept bumping into each other.

Next we removed the grain and boiled in our malt extract (had a mini panic attack when we discovered that our friend Dave at BM forgot to give us two of our malts).

Then we added the hops (Liberty).

Kinda looks like the surface of Pluto.
Next we added little nuances like Irish Moss and Candi Rock Sugar.

We let it boil all together for awhile and then it was time to

CHILL OUT!!!

(You'll notice I am no longer in my bathrobe.)

We filled my jolly green bathtub full of cold water and chilled the wort down to a reasonable temperature before we transferred it to the primary fermenter (a bucket).

Here I am adding water and yeast and aerating the mixture.  So much fun!

We stuck a lid on it and a cool device that allows it to breathe but I always forget the name of it... let's call it a "bubble-ator."

In two days the yeast had fermented so vigorously that it had clogged our poor Bubble-ator (let's call him Alexander) and our bucket was stretched out to the max.  We decided to shift our setup to a "blow off" style after a confusing phone call to a lady named Nicole, I think, at Brewmeister.  She was trying to be helpful, but I think my lack of experience confused the crap out of her.  Andy and I made an emergency run to Home Depot to find some tubing that could work for the blow off system and VOILA!  we were back in business!  Disaster thwarted.  Alas, poor Alexander was sniffling sadly in the corner of the room as we hurled insults at him.  So stuck up.

A few days later it was time to transfer our beer to the Secondary fermenter, a carboy supplied by none other than the infamous Brewthers up at Catholic Beer Brewery in the basement of a Maple Valley Pastor (a fine gentleman of a man, to be sure) near Seattle, Washington.  They will probably point out many of my mistakes with this batch since they are seasoned professionals (and damn good looking).  Not sure what their looks have to do with it, but I just thought I should state that for the record.

Here's Andy having fun transferring the beer into our Secondary.

So, now the beer is bubbling slowly in Andy's closet.

Soon we will add the final bit of sugar and bottle it up for a few weeks.

THEN WE WILL DRINK IT AND WONDER WHY WE SPENT SO MUCH FREAKING WORK ON MAKING A MEDIOCRE BEVERAGE.

Or maybe it will be fantastic.  One of those two probably.  Cheers!