A new life on this earth

My cousin, Hannah, has given birth to a girl.  A child.  A new life on this planet.

And this new life is barely breathing.

Hannah was in labor for DAYS.  We're talking DAYS of labor.  Pushing and sweating and screaming... waiting for this little bit*h (excuse me) to come OUT!

Well, she finally came out, and has been having severe breathing issues.  She's in natal intensive care.

She was due on Thanksgiving.  Ironic.

Sometimes life emerges into the world a gentle, beautiful, simple thing.  The doctor says, "it couldn't have gone better" and hands you a gorgeous child that looks just like you and makes that eye contact that says, "Thanks, Mom and Dad, for your sacrifice."  That kind of life is easy to be thankful for.  More often, life limps into the world broken, ugly, and barely breathing.  That kind of life is easy to get angry about.  "Why my child, God?"  It's easy to wonder.  "What did I do wrong?"

But that's not the real issue, is it?  The issue is: God can give and God can take away.  How can I love what God has given?

But if I'm honest, I will say this: I get pissed off at God when he messes with my family.  When a family member hits a hard patch I quickly lock eyes on Him, demanding an explanation.  I know he doesn't owe me one, but dammit, I still want one.  "Come on, you all-knowing, all-loving God.  Tell me what's going on here, cuz it looks like you're just being lazy."

Sometimes I'm glad God doesn't answer my questions in the same manner that they are phrased.

Either way.

God, please be near my cousin and my family as we wait with bated breath as to your will for her child.