It's a little cynical... perhaps a little boring... but there's some truth there.
I mean, I might just think that I am the most kind, compassionate man...
But when my coworkers tell me that I come across as a stuck-up jerk--
I have to rethink my perception of me. And not just the "perception" but also what is truly going on in my heart.
"Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" -- I believe this to be true.
So there's my dirty laundry: my employees think I'm a bit of a jerk. I demand too much of them-- I do too much "behind the scenes" work and not enough "in the the trenches" work. Hm.
I mourn this. But I also move on quickly. As much as I am sorry that I come across as abrupt and a bit demanding at times, I understand that they are not the ones with the title: Manager. They do not have to answer to anyone, and in their minds, the motto is: "we're just makin' coffee here! Let's just have fun!"
They have a point. We are hideously underpaid and it's easier to cope with that by screwing around. But their point is grossly outweighed. Making coffee IS fun, and at its surface seems like we're all just standing around, lollygagging. But if you remove a layer, you can see that we're running a business. And we, as a company with 4 locations, haven't gotten to where we are just by frolicking through daisies.
That's a hard fence to walk.
1. Keep the job light-hearted, so you don't lose your mind.
2. And keep a tight grip on the reins so that you never lose the respect and quality that your business demands.
Sigh.
I'm not the perfect boss. In fact, I'm probably not even a mediocre boss. But I'm trying. Doesn't that account for something?
Tim
Wait, are you trying to be a good boss or a mediocre boss? The reality is that people don't take time to look at what the manager has to deal with on a daily basis. I know you're doing a great job, and if you find areas to improve upon, you will improve. Love you buddy.
ReplyDeleteI know this is a late reply, but nonetheless... I am trying to be the BEST boss I can be... The reality that I am exploring is the painful growing process. I guess I'm discovering that I have to crawl before I can walk before I can run before I can fly before I can teleport. -TM
DeleteI disagree with the initial statement. The REAL you is an abstract concept made up to self-perception, other's perceptions and reinforcements thereof ("he's our smart child, she's our athletic one), DNA, psychology, and personality. There are WAY too many complicated reasons why we do what we do and say what we say to simplify it like this. NOT TO MENTION that we wear several hats according to several of our various roles. There's manager Tim and brother Tim and husband Tim. I'm not sure work is the best place to use to dissect yourself honestly - after all, business is business.
ReplyDeleteAgain, sorry for the late reply.
DeleteIt doesn't surprise me that you would disagree with the first statement. Like I said, I don't agree with it in TOTALITY, just in the sense that it captures a truth often overlooked. It's actually quite humorous that you would accuse me of oversimplifying! I am often the one that thinks too much in the "grays," rather than the blacks and whites.
It's curious to me, Candace, that you would be comfortable dissecting yourself as "____ Candace" one minute and "____ Candace" the next. Although it's true that I act differently in response to different situations (the "hats" you mentioned), I am still Tim, I am always Tim, and there are no versions of Tim that are not still Tim. See what I'm saying? I feel that if I allow myself to act in a way that is unacceptable in any other time of my life, I am being dishonest with myself and rude to the people around me.
I am often bothered by those who say, "Well, I'm under a lot of stress right now so I'm entitled to act this way" or "I'm trying to love myself, so if that hurts other people, it doesn't matter."
It's a slippery slope I'm walking, but it is how I feel.
Some days I hated being a boss and other days I loved it. There is something great about being able to take care of people who may not be taken care in other portions of their life, but there is also something terrible about having to take care of people who many not be taken care of in other portions of their life... if you see what I'm saying. Being a boss is never about being well liked, it's about taking good care of your people. They need you to create a place where their excellence is praised/rewarded/whatever so they and the business can improve, but they will not always like what it takes to create that place. Anywho... we should skype soon, cause I just got caught up on you and I miss you now.
ReplyDeleteI admire your perspective of how the role of a manager should be to "create a place where excellence is praised/rewarded"-- this has often been my personal mantra. The problem is when I have trouble finding ANYTHING to praise them for. Usually it's not because they suck, but because I am having trouble seeing the good in the midst of all that needs to improve. A fault I am working on-- TOP PRIORITY.
DeletePeople need to hear encouragement not just when they're doing good, but especially when they are doing poorly.
"Being a boss is never about being well-liked, it's about taking good care of your people."
I'm going to quote you on that-- and refer to it often. Much love, -TM